A friend of mine asked me recently, “how do we find passion?  Is it our job to create it or does God give it to us?”  I thought this was a great question and one I’ve asked many times.  I had a few thoughts that I shared with him that I thought might be helpful for some of you as well.

In my understanding of “passion” it all begins with the fundamental truth of “us.”  i.e. we need.  Our brokenness is the most basic and most fundamental aspect of our being that we can realize.  We are a derivative being.  We are not self-sufficient.  The lie of Eden cuts right across this exactly because it is so crucial.  “You don’t need to be dependent upon Him.  Eat the fruit so you can see have the power of self-determination in your hands.  He is trying to keep you down.” 

Sound familiar?  “Religion is the opiate of the people.”  Or try this one, “faith is a crutch.”

We make the mistake of thinking that passion is a result of human perfection or spiritual enlightenment all along forgetting that the very root of this enlightenment BEGINS with human need.  In Jesus’ disciple Simon Peter we see this illustrated perfectly.  When does he look most passionate but is in furthest away from it?  Right when Jesus challenges his passion by telling him he will deny him three times.  What is Peter’s response?  “Never Lord!  Though all will forsake you I will never bail.”  This is Peter conjuring passion.  This is Peter’s weak and feeble attempt at what he longs to embody.  I call it pseudo-passion.

I see it all around me in the Church.  Young and idealistic worshippers exerting themselves and even slipping into hype in order to approximate an emotion and attitude that they think is passion.  It is noble.  I am sure Jesus loves them for it.  But it is not Biblical passion.  It is pseudo-passion.  It is human beings DOING passion.  But passion is a way of ”being.” 

As the night of Jesus’ arrest proceeds we see how feeble Peter’s “passion” really is.  In the face of the terrifying servant girl Peter crumbles and swears that he NEVER KNEW Jesus.  Doing only lasts a moment.  In the face of the headwinds of life it fades.  Religion is no match for fear.

Yet out of this moment Peter is utterly crushed.  He runs home and Jesus chases him down.  On the beaches of the Sea of Galilee, He calls Peter aside and begins the process of seeing if the work of self-knowledge that will lead to real passion has done its work.  “Peter, do you love me?”  The word Jesus uses here is the word “agape.”  It means self-sacrificing service.  Peter, now self-aware in a deep and painful way, responds as only a broken man will, “you know I love you.”  But Peter uses the word “phileo.”  This means friendship.  Peter no longer deceives himself with delusions of grandeur.  He knows his weakness.  And so Jesus continues his inquiry.

“Peter do you [agape] me? Lord, you know I [phileo] you.”  And then the amazing moment occurs.  Jesus asks,  “Peter, do you [phileo] me?”  Bam!  John records here that Peter is broken-hearted at this.  Jesus has lowered the bar.  He has met him where he is at.  Peter’s dreams of being this mighty passionate warrior for Jesus have evaporated forever and His Lord is now embracing him in his mediocrity and loving him right there.  “Yes Lord, you know all things, you know I [phileo] you.”  To which Jesus repeats the line he’d said before each of the prior two queries, “feed my sheep.”

In his failure, Jesus has met him.  Jesus says to Peter in this restoration that I can use you now.  You can become like me and do what I do because you know you are no longer the point.  This is the first step to passion.  The delusions must die.  The truth about us must become real and actualized in our “being.”  Then and only then will we take the next step.

Because Jesus then tells all of his boys to go back to Jerusalem and “wait.”  Their own resources aren’t enough.  They need what is going to come so that next time they will not run.  So they obey.  And they wait.  And wait.  And wait.

Did you ever think how long a week must’ve felt to these guys?  I think I would’ve assumed whatever needed to happen must’ve happened at day 4.  That is probably my limit!  It just shows how little my delusions have been crushed.  And I’m afraid most of our churches are day 4 churches! Painful realization but sadly true.  But these guys wait all the way.  And the wind starts to blow and the fire falls and they are… different.

How different?

Well, in Acts 2 this Peter who ran in the face of a servant girl stands before thousands and proclaims Jesus with boldness.  Then, in Acts 4 (verses 19 and 20 in particular) he and John stand before the ultimate seat of power in the Jewish world, the Sanhedrin, and thunder with utter fearlessness, “whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge; for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen & heard.”

That is passion.

Passion happens when a thoroughly broken man, woman, boy or girl waits before their God with expectation and faith in His generous promise and receives the power that means they no longer have a choice… They MUST speak. 

Passion speaks. 

Passion is not a feeling nor is it a posture.  It is an action.  Boldness.  Risk.  Engagement.  Erwin McManus said years ago that “Jesus came to kill you so that you can go places only dead men can go.”  That is passion.  Brokenness meeting Goodness resulting in “seeing” and “hearing” about which we cannot remain silent ever again.

So.  Are you passionate?  If not please do not waste a moment in shame.  Let the self-knowledge be a doorway to true passion.  This world needs more Passion.